by Allowing It to Master You
I was raised in a Catholic household by Polish, Italian, Irish and Southern parents. As with many families there was pain, trauma, divorce. There were also many beautiful moments too. We didn't meditate. We would pray sometimes before bed and before dinner. We went to Catholic school, but we didn't meditate. We yelled, cried, blamed, ran from and ran to. We lived.
Many years later I began to work on and heal my inner parts. I was guarded, angry, scared and stubborn. I went through therapy, lost weight, gained weight, forgave, trusted, went to church, prayed... and never was I introduced to Meditation. And then one day, after weeks of denial and struggle, I went to my first Over Eaters Anonymous (OA) meeting. A therapist had been urging me to go as he said, "You need to deal with your emotional connection to food and OA does exactly this," I was incredibly angry because I knew it was true.
OA is a twelve-step program. Food is my drug of choice. Always has been. Look at my ethnic background and my past experiences. Through the divorce and the fighting and the anger and the hurt, I ate. I ate my way right into Meditation. When we finally surrender and allow (listen), we begin to heal.
For the last ten years I have been lead to and have relied on meditation. I have taught it. I have embraced it. It has saved me. In fact, it has been the peace my insides have searched for. I still struggle. I still use food at times. I intuitively know what I am supposed to do. I still run from it at times. I don't always "like" meditating, but I now remind myself to tap in where and when I need to.
Why? Because being human is hard. Because being intuitive and sensitive is hard. Because ego is still present. Because learning is still unfolding. Because I deserve peace. Because I don't know all of the answers. Because Source knows the way. Because faith is my backbone. Because healing and happiness is a choice- every minute of every day. Because when the ego is in charge we are OUT OF CONTROL and Meditation brings us back to center.
"Life opens us even unintentionally. It's supposed to. Meditation allows us to experience what is in the "opening." -April Roane
So how do you begin? Let me help. Again, healing and happiness is a choice. So is texting and walking and shopping and traveling and ignoring a phone call and over drinking and gossiping and taking a bath and brushing our hair and making coffee and checking Facebook... Meditation is a choice first. That's the hard part.
1) Choose Meditation (willingness is the first step)
2) Make space and make time
3) Show up
Now the fun part. What do you do? Meditation is simply the process of practicing quieting the mind. This is the "Mastering Meditation" part. The truth is Meditation is all about your attention and focus- and this is where we practice. It isn't meant to be perfect. It's simply meant to be present. It is breathing. It is sitting. It is walking in nature. It is writing. It is chanting. It is bringing your focus to a place where you "feel" at peace and can let go of all that distracts you. As distractions show up, which they will, acknowledge them and simply bring your attention/ focus back to the breath or the space you are in or your walk or the music or the blog post.... This is why it is called your spiritual "practice."
1) Become comfortable. Sit. Lie down. Make sure electronics are silenced.
2) Close your eyes.
3) Take a deep breath in for a count of four.
4) Hold in your gut for a count of four.
5) Exhale slowly out of a wide opened mouth for a count of five or six.
6) Repeat the breath the same way. In for four, hold for four, exhale for a count of five or six.
7) Repeat the breath one last time. Slowly in through your nose for a count of four. Hold in your gut for a count of four and exhale with your mouth gently open wide for a count of five or six.
8) Now slowly breathe in through your nose and feel the breath entering your lungs. Hold it and visualize your body absorbing all of the oxygen. Slowly "empty your tank" and exhale through your mouth feeling the energy leave your body.
9) What are you feeling? Where are you feeling it? Does it feel good? If so, repeat.
10) In-joy the breath. It anchors us. It allows us to connect to the moment. It aligns us with our alignment.
11) Go back to the breath as much as you'd like. Play with it. Allow the extra thoughts to float (or fly) in and let them go by returning your focus to that breath in through your nose and hold.... and exhale.... It is a practice.
* What did you think?
* Did it bring you ANY moment of relaxation? If so, it did its job.
Meditation will be an open door for the ego. The ego will think it is an open invitation and a time for chatter. This simply will fade over time. As long you continue to bring your focus back to the breath, clarity and the ability to Master your Meditation will take place as Meditation truly does master us. It allows us to tune out the ego and tune into the voice of Self, Source and Love.
Meditation is not perfect. It is not always euphoric. It is not always deep. Sometimes it is quick with just a few breaths, I always recommend doing a breathing "session" every time (1:11 as I type this) you are in your adult time out (the toilet). Whether you are at work, home, a restaurant, every time you are on the toilet slowly take a few slow deep breaths.
Trust the psychic... kapeesh?
xoxo I believe in your inner peace.